Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
