so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Still dying that you shit outside
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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