why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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