i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
