your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
