Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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