So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Girls should come with a carfax report
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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