a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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