think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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