By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
