He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
