he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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