I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
