theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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