So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
