it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
