Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
