My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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