Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
