I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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