Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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