It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
