She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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