i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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