I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize