everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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