SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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