Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
even my farts smell like vagina
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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