I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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