He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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