does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
