Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
