it hurts more in the daytime
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
