happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
