How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
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