We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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