Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
