I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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