why do cheetos always look like penises
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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