Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
