Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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