If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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