She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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