I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
