dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
