I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
