this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
