Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I can't turn off my feet"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
there is glitter all over my balls
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