How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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