I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
