I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
