summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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