She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
