I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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